Power: The Entitled vs. Responsible Mindset—How Leadership Shapes Influence
Have you ever worked for someone who felt entitled to their power? Someone who made their power known and used it to control you and others? Now, compare that with any experience you have had with someone who takes responsibility for their power. A boss or leader that handles their power responsibly and uses it to build others up and grow with them.
The stark difference in working with opposing leadership styles can be like comparing night with day. One creates darkness, confusion, resentment, and exhaustion. The other creates light, clarity, motivation, and energy. These two types of people can make you feel and respond to life differently. Why is that? Well, the answer lies in what power actually is...
The definition of power:
The ability to do something or act in a particular way, especially as a faculty or quality.
The capacity or ability to direct or influence the behavior of others or the course of events.
The definition of influence:
The capacity to have an effect on the character, development, or behavior of someone or something, or the effect itself.
When people are in a position of power, they have the ability to influence others, which means they have the ability to affect the character of an individual. Someone’s misuse of power creates a feeling of oppression and breeds resentment and a survival mindset. People respond to this type of entitlement in very negative ways that ultimately impact how they see themselves, others, and the world.
On the other hand, someone who feels a responsibility to their power creates a sense of safety and security. People respond to this type of leadership with vulnerability, which creates opportunities for growth. Responsible leaders nurture others with love, compassion, and accountability. This also impacts how individuals see themselves, others, and the world. The difference is that they are able to see the possibilities in everything instead of feeling restrained by everything.
Think about areas of your life where you may have power. Maybe it’s a leadership position at work, maybe it’s being a wife or husband, a parent or older sibling at home. It could be that you're a coach of some sort, a religious leader, or a teacher. Maybe you have a friend group that you have influence over or maybe you have a public voice online. Consider all areas of your life where you may have influence on or over others.
This next part is a little tougher. Take honest stock and ask yourself if you have areas of entitlement when it comes to your position of power. In other words, do you yield your power in your parenting or your responsibility to raise emotionally mature and responsible individuals? Do you demand “respect” from others, or do you focus on earning it? Do you internalize the mistakes of others or see them as irritating and upsetting? Or do you see it as an opportunity to teach, encourage, and direct? Are you focused on how others see you, or are you spending time getting to know them and considering how you can support them in being their best selves?
An entitled mindset to power is often rooted in insecurity or a lack of working through past pains. Being vulnerable is dangerous or weak, and therefore, a facade of always being in control is necessary. Not being in control can feel like failure. If I don’t know the answer to something, it cannot be pointed out or challenged. So, the last question to ask yourself is, are you only safe to lead from a responsibility mindset when you are working with others who are safe and responsible? In other words, do the insecurities of some cause you to go into power and control and operate your leadership from a place of entitlement?
In order to be responsible for your power, you cannot allow others to dictate who you are. You must choose for yourself how you are going to use your power. You have to be intentional about knowing your triggers and working through your own growth and healing. Otherwise, you risk allowing your past traumas or pains to clash with the past traumas and pains of others or creating new traumas for them. For example, if your child is disrespectful, are you going to wield your power to punish them or take on the responsibility of teaching the child healthy boundaries, respectful communication, and the blessing of consequences? One is immediate; the other takes time and effort not to react to emotions but to respond appropriately to the emotions you are feeling.
Having someone hold their power over us with an entitled mindset is an awful experience. It feels discouraging, frustrating, and downright wrong. Knowing this experience makes us even more responsible for the areas in our own lives where we have the power to influence others. Negative experiences can be our greatest teachers if we are willing to learn. Lean into those difficult experiences and ask yourself, what areas of my life do I need to consider my use of power? And remember, you got this!
-Dr. Jennie
© 2025 Dr. Jennie. All Rights Reserved.
This blog post is the intellectual property of Dr. Jennie and is protected under U.S. and international copyright law. No part of this content may be copied, reproduced, distributed, or republished without express written permission from the author.
